Accusations!

Well Pilgrims, some serious accusations are being thrown around the peloton today.  

No – I’m not speaking of the recent assertion that Lance was receiving autogenous blood transfusions during the Tour de France.

And no, I’m not talking about the possibility that Mark Cavendish has swine flu-like symptoms.

I’m talking about yours truly.  Yes, I have come under some serious scrutiny as was seen by the comments of two anonymous readers after the last post.  Appreciating the concept of anonymity, but wanting to avoid confusion I have chosen to name these two individuals to clarify my response to their concerns.  I will refer to the first commenter as ‘Mancebo’ after Francisco Mancebo, currently of Rock Racing.  I have chosen this name because I have always had so much respect for Mancebo – but also because nobody – and I mean NOBODY can grimace in pain like Mancebo. 

I can just imagine our reader Mancebo having a similar pained expression while suffering through my drivel.    Mancebo makes the following accusations: 

Anonymous (aka 'Mancebo', wincing and in pain) said...

"This blog does nothing that hasn't already been done far better by bikesnobnyc. Unoriginal content, unoriginal tone, unoriginal quizzes. Shitty and lame. Take this down if you have even the tiniest scrap of pride"

SEPTEMBER 10, 2009 4:37 AM

I, the accused, would like to take each of Mancebo’s allegations independently.

1) “This blog does nothing that hasn’t already been done far better by bikesnobnyc.”

NOT GUILTY.  I am the only cycling blog that has EVER featured both a javelina AND a chocolate chip pancake wrapped sausage.  Having said that, if BSNYC did decide to banter about javelinas and pancake wrapped sausage – I’m quite sure it would be superior.

2) “Unoriginal content, unoriginal tone, unoriginal quizzes.” 

GUILTY, GUILTY and NOT GUILTY (respectively).  See #1 above – I still contend that the javelina was pretty original.

3) “Shitty and lame.”

I looked both terms up in Webster’s to make sure I wasn’t misinterpreting the syntax: "shitty" in this context, I’m assuming refers to “of very poor quality, highly inferior.”  Compared to BSNYC, this is TRUE – GUILTY AS CHARGED.  I am assuming "lame" in this context likely does NOT refer to a malfunctioning limb or appendage (although I am suffering with a touch of patellar tendonitis) but rather “lacking needful or desirable substance.”  I plead NOT GUILTY here as I find myself both needful and desiring several things including, but not limited to: more writing acumen, some new Look pedals and a copy of that July 1983 Playboy I found in the woods.

4) “Take this down if you have even the tiniest scrap of pride.”

Well, unfortunately, the last scrap of my pride kind of looks like this currently:

And my day job is already hard at work obliterating what is left of that…..but I will certainly take this under advisement.

Ok – on to commenter #2 who wrote in response of Mancebo's earlier post.  We’re going to call commenter #2 ‘Liz’ after Liz Hatch who races for Vanderkitten.  The reason being is because…well look at her photo first.
  

I’ve been rejected by women that look like Liz my entire life and almost always the rejection is as succinct and efficient as reader 'Liz' delivers here in her response to Mancebo's suggestion of my immediate cessation:

Anonymous (aka "Liz Hatch", buxom and angry) said...

"concurred."

SEPTEMBER 10, 2009 3:59 PM

Never fear Mancebo and Liz - I'm not quitting my day job!

Until next time (assuming there is a next time)....pedal on?