Sweet, Sweet Bike Love

What is the emotion of desire one feels for an inanimate object?  Is it love?  The Spielberg movie A.I. (short for Artificial Intelligence) attempted to address this question with the character of David, who was a robot - but looked like a human.  So this analogy is already flawed - because David is an animate object of sorts.  He walks, and talks and interacts.

What I'm talking about is a true inanimate object.  Websters says inanimate means "not endowed with life or spirit, lacking consciousness or power of motion."  So - can you love something like this?

Maybe 'can' is not the correct word.  Loving inanimate objects seems to be a bit of a problem across the pond in the UK.  Apparently in 1997, a certain Mr. Robert Watt, 38, of Edinburgh was arrested for having sex with a shoe.  Five years later he was busted again - this time for having sex with a traffic cone.  I've just got to say, that if I were stranded alone on a deserted island for, say 10 years, with either a shoe or a traffic cone.....well - I wonder what kind of shoe it was?  Cause this:

Is certainly different than this:

Anyway.....

Back to bikes and merry old England circa 2007.   Acording to the UK post The Telegraph,  Robert Stewart of Ayr was in his room in a hostel, when cleaners unlocked the door after repeatedly knocking with no response and caught him having sex with his bike.  I know EXACTLY what you are thinking at this point - and I was wondering the same thing.  What kind of bike was it? I don't know - and cannot find the answer anywhere.  This guy was arrested and put on the sex offenders register for three years.  I for one, call foul!  Does anyone think the bike was offended by his action?  Plus - he was in his room behind a locked door! It may not even have been entirely his fault.  What if he had been down at the pub that night, and while on his way home, he stumbled upon this hot little Bianchi number that was carrying a six-pack in her basket with a come hither stare? (I'll let you read her name on the top tube yourself.)

A very similar occurence almost went down in Cape Girardeau just last month when a certain Mr. Benjamin Savage stole not one, but TWO 24-packs of beer while on his bike.  He got half-way to the local Motel 6 before he was caught...no doubt he was responding to the siren call from his two-wheeled, spoked companion for a little fun.

But this is bike LUST which should not be confused with bike LOVE.

Recently a COMO reader named Rachel sent me a picture of her bike, named 'Crush' seen below:

I know, I know.  It would be easy to jump all over Crush with all sorts of fashion mockery - but consider this.  This little 'engine that could' took Rachel across 744 miles to Omaha and back again over 11 days.  This terrific Trek with her Brooks saddle is a veritable pack mule that even the Mad Mennonite would be proud of.  You can read more about Rachel and Crush here.  I can't think of more compelling evidence that bike love is real and happening every day.

That said, should love for your bike become a little more amorous and you feel the urge to take things to the next step but are a little nervous about making the first move, consider the results from a recent scientific study pulished in the Journal of Perceptual and Motor Skills in April.

In this article titled "Music and light during indoor cycling," the researchers Shaulov and Lufi concluded that "participants [engaged in indoor cycling]....report more pleasure and less tiredness while exercising with music and dimmed light.  It is recommended that music and dimmed light might be used during such activities to heighten pleasure and reduce tiredness while emphasizing fitness acheived."

Yep - a little mood lighting and music never hurt. 

By the way - if you've seen a bike that you think is hot....why not tag him/her like this?  Get the cards here.

Pedal on!

P.S.  Business is calling me away on a trip for the remainder of the week - but we will be up and running again next week.  Until then talk amongst yourselves.