Observations on the Tour of Missouri

As with any cycling fanatic in the US, and certainly in Missouri, it was with great excitement that I recently attended several of the stages of the ongoing Tour of Missouri (TOM); specifically, the finish of Stage 4 in Jefferson City and the entirety of the Time Trial in Sedalia, Stage 5.  Several things have always impressed me about this race, most of which is the accessibility to certain cycling Gods that we usually only get to see on TV or webcasts as they ride through Europe.  This year's TOM has no shortage of true legends that can make any grown cycling fan (yours truly certainly included) feel and act like a little girl at a Backstreet Boys concert back in the day.  Marco Pinotti, David Zabriskie, Jens Voigt, George Hincapie, Yaroslav Popovych, Levi Leipheimer, Franco Pelizotti, Floyd Landis and Thor Hushovd are but a few in this year's contest. 

But these guys are seasoned veterans.  They have have been around the proverbial crit circuit more than a few times and have experienced the richest life that the upper echelon of pro-cycling can offer to be sure:  from racing through the rain-soaked streets of Barcelona, up the crowd-packed course of l'Alpe D'huez, time trialing through Monaco and finally coursing down the Champs-Elysees - and that was all just at the Tour de France and doesn't even consider the thousands of other European destinations these pros will ride through and the millions of obsessed fans that will flock to watch them over the course of a season.

So I'm left asking myself - "I wonder what they think of Missouri?"  Thus I set out to compile a little data and try to do a comparative analysis of racing in Missouri versus elsewhere and in so doing have made some observations.

Observation #1:
One of the pillars of any major professional bike race has become the "podium girl.'  You've seen them.  They are the lovely, statuesque ladies, typically perched on stilletoes, who hand the winner the trophy, kiss him on both cheeks and then pose with the champion of the day for the photographers.  They are certainly no stranger to Thor Hushovd.  He has had an excellent season, in spite of the dominance of the Manx Missile (aka Dimple Rumpy).  Here is a picture of Thor at the 2009 Tour of California with an all-too-common Barbiesque podium girl besmocked in red.

Thor has also had a very good Tour of Missouri - having won a stage and been the bearer of both the yellow and green jerseys, thus has gotten some podium time in our great state as well.  Here is Thor with a red-clad Tour of Missouri podium girl.

Observation #2:
Anyone who has watched the Tour de France is probably very familiar with the wildly popular costumed fan hailing from Germany named Dieter "Didi" Senft whose alter ego is The Devil.  He frequents many of the stages of each year's race and taunts the cyclists, screaming and gesticulating with his pitch fork and hellish guise, seen here:

Watching the finish of Stage 4 the other night in Jefferson City, I got to see the Tour of Missouri's version of The Devil at the jersey presentation and snapped a picture of him.  He apparently comes from Clark, Missouri and goes by the name, The Mad Mennonite.

Their tacts are quite different in taunting the racers.  While The Devil of the European scene prefers to evoke the fury of hell and the terror of Satan himself in reminding the cyclists how badly they are already suffering by mocking and laughing at them......

the Mad Mennonite chooses instead to be reticent and pensive, harshly staring at his pedalling victims with cold eyes behind dark sunglasses, loathing their brightly colored costumes and willing them to think twice about whether they will have the strength to finish without the assistance of a horse, or strong mule to pull their carbon buggies along.

Observation #3:

Everywhere the golden fleece of the maillot jaune goes in the Tour de France (worn by Alberto Contador here), he is surrounded by throngs of fans, eager to catch a glimpse or possibly a discarded bidon souvenir of the rider who possesses the talent and dedication to have ascended to such lofty, and select heights of the cycling elite.

At the Tour of Missouri, the yellow jersey bearer (JJ Haedo here) is given time to reflect upon his accomplishments alone and is always encouraged to recycle his used water bottles instead of casting them along the roadside as trash.

In all seriousness, the TOM is an amazing event and opportunity to bring some of the world's greatest cyclists to our very doorstep.  In addition, it allows Americans to see great American cyclists race.  I've long felt it was an absolute shame that such prestigious US athletes like our current national champions Hincapie and Zabriskie can be recognized in Europe more than in their own country where they must travel with relative anonymity, hardly receiving a mention from the conventional, non-cycling-centric sports media. Recently interviewed regarding the future of the TOM, Lt. Governor Peter Kinder said, "Nothing is guaranteed. We signed a three-year contract to do three races and this is the third year of that contract. As things stand now, unless we race supporters can pull together a herculean effort, I think that's what it would take [for there] to be a fourth edition of the Tour of Missouri."

Let's hope the Mad Mennonite has some tricks (and money) up his sleeves.

Pedal on.